> EXAMINE HOUSE

It is a big house. An ugly house. Obviously not the architectural find of the century. In fact, you kind of wonder why someone would purposely make a house that ugly. It's like they'd never seen a house before and decided one day, perhaps on a drinking binge, to create one based purely off the descriptions of their dumbest, drunkest, more ignorant friend - the one who tells everybody about that time during the war when he once saw that house that one time at every social gathering. He thinks the story gets him laid. It does not.

There is something unusual about one of the things which in some way resemble what in the hands of a competent designer's hands would be described as a "window".

> EXAMINE WINDOW

The window is ajar.

> EXAMINE JAR

You don't see that here.

> TAKE JAR

Taken.

> OPEN WINDOW

With the effort of a moose, you lift the window open far enough to fit through.

> ENTER WINDOW

The Kitchen
You are standing in a small room with a table and a refrigerator. If you wanted to play with language a bit, you could perhaps describe this room as a kitchen. A door leads to the west while a small open hatch leads up into the attic.

> OPEN REFRIDGERATOR

I do not know the word "refridgerator".

Thanks to the miracle of software advancement in the past twenty years, this program is fitted with the ability to recognize and correct potentially misspelled words. Through a complex algorithm, which you can just think of as magic, this feature scans the input text for common misspellings and compares it with an in game dictionary of known keywords to accurately predict what you meant to type within a margin of error of plus or minus 3%.

What you intended to type was: "OPEN TABLE".

You cannot open that.

> OPEN REFRIGERATOR

Inside you find a moldy ham sandwich.

> TAKE SANDWICH

The refrigerator door isn't open.

> OPEN REFRIGERATOR

Inside you find a moldy ham sandwich.

> TAKE SANDWICH

The refrigerator door isn't open.

> ENTER HATCH

Dark Room
You are in a very dark room. Be careful, or you might be eaten by a grue.

> EXAMINE GRUE

You cannot see anything, for it is really quite dark in here. Grue tend to hunt in dark places, so it is a strong possibility that there is one nearby... perhaps even BEHIND YOU!!! Just kidding. Well, I mean, a grue could be standing behind you. That much is true. But it's not like you could see him or anything. Like I said, it's dark in here. That's the catch-22 of grues, you see. The only time you can see them is when you can't see them. Unless you had some infrared goggles, I guess.

> TURN ON LIGHTS

You grope around in the dark for a light switch of some sort, but find the experience rather uneventful. You do feel something furry and wet. You hope it isn't a grue. Then you realize that it doesn't really matter what it is, being furry and wet, you'd have rather not touched it in the first place. There's really nothing with that texture found in the dark attic of an ugly abandoned house that you are a better man for touching. The texture will haunt you for the rest of your life - which is going to be very short, because as I said, you are in a dark room and are in terrible mortal danger of being eaten by a grue.